About this Blog

When my life is a mess, all I can do is run to Jesus. There in His awesome presence, is the only place to find peace, comfort, love and joy. At His feet, He opens my eyes to His mercy and goodness within the mess. This is my journey with my Savior.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Football?

A close friend of mine had a dream, about me and about football.  And she doesn't really watch football.  But ever since she told me about it, it has really helped me when I start to struggle with emotions & feelings that are not of God, but rather straight from the pit of hell trying to get me to focus on circumstances and not on Jesus, my God & Savior.

Feelings of panic, control, manipulation, vengeance, anger, pride, self-righteousness, desperation and so many more.  So I use her analogy to help me live out 2 Corinthians 10:5 "We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ".  Please excuse my attempts to "draw" this on blogspot.

I start to feel like this... (the x's are like football players on the field)

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x           
x x x x x  x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x          
___________________________________
                              Me                                              G
                                                                                 O
                                                                                 D
 

I start to see all of the people lining up against me.  All of the people that are actively hurting me with their actions & choices.  The people that are accepting of the sins because they feel they have no other choice but to accept "the way it is".  The enemies out to destroy, the ones that are indifferent.  The ones that do not believe that this marriage can be restored.  The ones that hope it isn't restored because they are that mad at my husband.  My husband, the lawyers, the judges, the other women, the list goes on.  I begin to feel like it is me against the world, and there sits God, sitting on the sidelines watching me be crushed by all of these lineman coming straight at me.  There I am...alone. 

But I won't get off the field.  I insist on staying in the game.  I don't know how I can ever take them all on,  but I have to keep scrambling.  I HAVE TO MAKE THEM ALL SEE.

I need to open my eyes and see the field in the way that it really is...

                      G   O   D                         Me  xxxxxxx
                                                              xxxxxxxxxxx
                                                              xxxxxxxxxxx
___________________________

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The truth is that all of those people against me, God is over them all.  My Savior wants me on the sideline.  He isn't going to throw me off the field, but He doesn't want me taking on the all of those people.  This is His battle to fight, and He has ALREADY WON IT!  So there I am, on the sideline, on my knees, praying. And if you notice, I can then see that I am NOT alone.  I am surrounded by so many people that are on their knees with me praying for the mighty miracle that can come from God alone.  There is also no game clock in this football game.  It's called God's time, and not a single person knows what it reads.

So join me on the sidelines.  I've stopped scrambling and I'm standing.  Sometimes I try to get back out there, and my ever faithful Savior pours out grace & mercy & waits for me to get back off.  So here I stand calling out verses God gave me a long time ago Exodus 14:14 "The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent" and Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations.  I will be exalted in the earth".  Amen.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Here I Stand

"My kids are on my nerves. Frustrating me and not making me happy. I deserve to be a happy parent! There has to be more for me as a parent than this! I need new kids. I'll leave these and get new ones."

Sounds absurd? Of course it does. Now take the word KIDS and replace it with SPOUSE.

Equally as ridiculous, no?

Marriage is to be HONORED AND CHERISHED. A child shouldn't be thrown away and neither should a marriage.*(borrowed from Kris Washington)


When I read the above status from a facebook friend it really struck me.  Did it strike you? Walking away from my marriage is as absurd as walking away from my kids.

I choose to stand for my marriage because I choose to stand in obedience to what God's Word says about marriage.  I choose to honor the vows that I said.  When I stand before the Lord, I will answer for my choices & my obedience.  Why would I stop honoring what I said just because he is?  When did it start becoming accepted & normal for 2 wrongs to make a right?  Why in the world would I settle for less than what God designed marriage to be?  Because my one flesh partner is consumed with sin?  When did it become ok to walk away from the drowning person just because it might be "too hard" on me to wait for the rescue to happen? Is there a better example of worse in "for better or worse"?

These situations are exactly where God calls me to stand up and live out His Word - not just talk the good sounding faith talk. Anyone can talk it, but how many really live it?  I stand for what God says.  I'm not going to be some weak person who caves to the world just because it's become the norm.  My desires are not going to be small & weak because my God is big & strong.  Nothing is impossible with God (Matthew 19:26) He alone will give me the strength to stand.  

Standing is not settling.  Standing is not denial.  Standing is refusing to be easily pleased with worldly desires.  Standing declares that God - He is big and mighty and strong and He will carry out His will.  I won't walk away from Godly truth & be content to play in the mud.  Because of my obedience to walk according to His ways, I know what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. And all of the glory will go to Him alone.



If there lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly to hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing, I submit that this notion has crept in from Kant and the Stoics and is not part of the Christian faith. Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.
C. S. Lewis in The Weight of Glory