Have you ever really read the last verse of John? Sometimes I tend to gloss over closing verses, and they don't really sink in. This past weekend, John 21:25 floored me: "Now there are also many other things that Jesus did. Were every one of them to be written, I suppose that the world itself could not contain the books that would be written." Wow. That left me speechless.
Jesus did so much that the world could not contain all of the books it would take to write them down. Think about that.
And Jesus is still pouring out blessings in lives today. If you started to write down everything that He has done, and is doing for YOU today...you wouldn't be able to keep up or even begin to get them all. God's blessings are all around us, we just need to open our eyes and choose to see them. Only by His grace are you even able to take a breath. No wonder it's impossible to write it all down. You'd constantly have to be going back and saying, "and I just took another breath!"
God gave me a huge blessing this past week. He showed me a way that He is working when I can't see it. He didn't have to show me, but He did. He came forth shining with glorious light doing something that I never even thought was possible - that only He could do. Have my circumstances changed? Nope. Is my reality different? Nope. But He mercifully showed me that I can be 100% confident that HE is control of everything. Proverbs 19:21 "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand" Man can plan all he wants. Man can be determined to head down a path that he wants. But in the end, it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. AMEN to that! God has also given me Exodus 14:14 through many different sources recently "The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent". And Hebrew 13:6 "So we can confidently say, The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?"
Last week I was full of fear. I never cried so hard as I did last week, feeling as though my heart was literally being shredded to pieces. I spent time praying, begging God for something, anything. I came away angry and feeling as though God couldn't be further away. I went to Him for help, and all I came away with was a headache, a stuffy nose and no sleep. I couldn't "pray right", I couldn't claim His promises. I didn't believe any of those verses that I just quoted in the paragraphs above. Oh I knew them, I could recite them. I chose to think they couldn't apply to me, in this. If they did, then things would be different. My faith has never been weaker than it was last Thursday.
Then God moved as only He could. His being in control has never been made more clear to me. He is over this all. Nothing will happen that is not outside His plan. No matter where it all ends up, no matter what man's plans, His purpose will stand. By His grace I was able to confess, repent & cry out "I believe, help my unbelief!" Mark 9:24. I am praying that this very real lesson will sink deep into my soul and that I will pull it out every time I start to doubt it. God is so good that He gave me this breather from the storm. And if God had not stepped in, He would still be good. He would still be in control. He didn't have to show is power at that moment. He has nothing to prove to any of us. But He did. And I am rejoicing in His mercy to do so. Because I didn't deserve it. Just like I don't deserve His saving power of salvation. It's all about Him, not me. It's about His glory, not mine. By His grace, may I never forget that.
Last week God gave me one chapter of a book of blessings too big to carry, too big for the world to hold. Turning my tears of mourning into tears of joy.
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