Never Alone?

One very hard thing about being on this journey is the aspect of being alone.  Some days, that loneliness feels like a weight that will cause me to collapse.  Other days, it is not in the forefront of my mind.  But the feeling of being alone is always there.  Today is one of those very lonely days.  Today is Hannah's birthday and so I feel the weight of a huge missing piece of our family.  Celebrations with the leader of the family gone are very hard.  Today is a day where I think about standing in the driveway together, wanting to do nothing more than wrap my arms around him and lean in against his chest to be held by loving arms.  If you have that someone in your life, for me, will you do that today?  Take that moment and thank God for it.

While I feel so alone sometimes, I know I'm not.  In many ways the truth is that I am physically alone.  But I have an amazing support system of so many family & friends that are always there for me.  They are one phone call, one hug, one small step from me.  I am so blessed to have such amazing people in my life.  That's one thing this journey has allowed me to do.  My walls have come crashing down and I finally let people in.  I am more open and vulnerable.  I have friends that I can pour my heart out to.  Where as before, I never allowed myself to go there.  It wasn't safe.  I am thankful for his mercy in softening my heart towards accepting the love & friendship of other people.  But even more important than learning that there are friends at every turn, is learning that I am never alone - because God is always with me.

That is a truth that on days like today, I need to claim that truth and shout it with all my might.  I need to pray for the Spirit to teach my heart that truth.  So I am just going to list some scriptures that I need to be repeating & praying today!

Romans 8:39 "For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Hebrews 13:5-6 "Keep your life free from love of money, & be content with what you have, for he has said, I will never leave you nor forsake you.  So we can confidently say, The Lord is my helper, I will not fear; what can man do to me?"

Isaiah 54:5-6 "For your maker is your husband, for the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your redeemer; the God of the whole earth he is called.  For the Lord has called you like a wife deserted and grieved in spirit like a wife of youth when she is cast off, says your God"

Galatians 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.  And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me"

Ephesians 2:4-5 "But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ - by grace you have been saved"

Because God is with me, I am never actually alone.  In this season of life, I may not have my husband's arms to wrap around me.  But God's mercy is leading me through learning that that is not what defines alone.  My husband's arms are not all I need.  Having his arms but without God in it failed. When my husband's arms are back, I will already be content in my Father's arms. 

So when you hug your loved one today, I challenge you to ask yourself, is God part of this embrace?  Is He the third strand here?  Ecclesiastes 4:12 "And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him - a threefold cord is not quickly broken."  If God's not your third cord - take action and do something about it today!  Repent and ask God to be the center of it.  And don't do it for me, or for your spouse, or anyone else.  Do it for God's glory.

~ Kari